The stubble on his face was razor sharp. Not his memory. That was growing soft---not growing really
but diminishing. He couldn’t remember what he didn’t remember. Wasn’t sure that
what he recalled was ten years ago or ten minutes. Frustrating. He didn’t mean
to lash out in anger. Irritation comes as he tries to tether to the old
memories and connect with the new. The
rope keeps unraveling before he can tie it all together. Hair and memory both
graying out.
My sister and I have
shared the same moments…and we have different memories. I can access complete experiences if I see a
picture. Blocks of my childhood are absent along with chunks through my
twenties. A snapshot or a story will
open those files—sometimes. Raising my daughter; full soundtracks and photos
filling my personal memory cloud. My brain has archived trillions of tidbits; rock
and roll lyrics, Monty Python skits, facts about writers; quotes and quirks—all
easily accessed.
Memories are stored in the brain in multiple file cabinets;
back of brain, front of brain. Current
events we toss into the back brain cabinet (hippocampus). After a while we give
it a manila folder. Every ten years the files are shuttled to front brain
storage (frontal cortex). Simple. Unless
there’s a disruption. There’s always a disruption. Current memory must be
reinforced; the little file cabinet guy must scribble onto that folder. The
folder properly placed in context. To retrieve it the incoming query must be
clearly understood; “Okay, brain, find me the actors in eighties movie files.” Over
time the little file cabinet keeper gets tired and just throws those memories
into a box.
It came time to move him to smaller quarters, the movers
were oblivious, the children miffed and mystified. The ‘new’ boxes in den and
kitchen were filled with Hammacher Schlemmer catalogs, Hollywood Bowl librettos,
miscellaneous mail along with important letters from the IRS, postcards from
friends abroad and medical bills. The boxes in the backrooms were neatly
organized; photos of grandchildren and family, notes from mom, lists of knick-knacks,
tools and finances to be distributed ‘when the time comes.’ Temporary
amusements and current finances not held tightly; not filed rightly. Kinships and clan, close connected friends
and things done by hand---these the keeper stores in the strong room.
