Prone To Wander

Prone to wander Lord I feel it

Prone to leave the God I love
Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it, seal it for Thy courts above

Prone to wander is quite the understatement. Prone to rebellion works, prone to self, prone to divination all fit. Looking back on these days I think my life like the Judges doing right in my own eyes one moment then calling out to God for help the next breath. I find however that in the midst of all my ups and downs God has given grace. I count three specific tools that God encourages me to make use of while His hand draws me back.

First I count on the Bible to renew my embers. I have favorite authors whose lives rooted in scripture never cease to inspire. I turn to Spurgeon, to Piper, to Lewis to remind me of the deep things of God, the beauty of His Son and the effect of clean, cold water to a thirsty soul. It seems the Spirit nudges me toward these along with time in the Bible and my heart aligns with true North again.

Fellowship is amazing. How God set kindred souls in place to correct and console boggles my little mind. We have acquaintances that get their Sunday worship from the television set. That is a sad state of affairs. The television doesn’t laugh with you or make physical contact. My tv doesn’t give hugs or pats on the back. The thing about friends is they provoke you to push your own envelope (‘Provoke one another to love and good deeds’). Electronic devices are content to leave you as you are or worse, encourage you in your downward spiral.

Music points to beauty that is higher than us. When sung in praise it puts mood to the grandeur of the God we worship. That is the key. Music changes my focus from me to God, from lowly to high and lifted up.

These are the graces that God has seen fit to use in my life to draw me back to him. These are the anchors that lead to hold fast and lead into the Holy of Holies.

This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary—Heb 6:19.

Piper and Passion How Christian Hedonism Rocked My World

"...all men seek happiness.  This is without exception.  Whatever different means they emply, they all tend to this end...The will never takes the least step but to this object.  This is the motive of every action of every man, even of those who hang themselves."---Blaise Pascal

"God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him."---John Piper

Hedonism is in my mind the only logical world view apart from following Christ; “Let us eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die.” My father was never serious about his Judaism. Still he antagonized me for my decision to follow Christ. During one early conversation he asked me if it was just a phase. “Will you give it up once it wears off,” he asked. I assured him that if I ever gave up Christianity I would become a hedonist.

John Piper’s assertion that he was a Christian Hedonist got my attention. Convinced as I was that hedonism was the logical world view apart from Christ then what was a Christian Hedonist? Piper puts it this way, “Let us be crystal clear. We are always talking about joy in God, because the ultimate good that we always aim at is displaying the glory of God and expanding our own joy in God to others…..In God alone is fullness of joy and joy forever.” It’s a radical concept.

If I’m seeking joy then I must be selfish, right? Unless of course we are wired to seek joy. In which case it is the same old story. We seek joy in everything else but God. Yet if joy is found as we go deeper with God; deeper God and deeper joy, then it is a good thing. Understanding this changed my relationship with Christ.

That is the way I am wired. It is a heart versus flesh thing. My flesh wants joy in everything but God. My heart wants joy in God. That focus is incredible. The thought that joy can be experienced in God drives me toward Him. Sin looks bleak when deep joy is possible. I will do what I believe will bring me joy.

The Westminster Catechism says that the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. The two are inextricably intermeshed. Seeking God’s glory brings joy. It’s a win-win.

Failure Is Allowed

“And the Lord said unto Joshua, Get thee up; wherefore liest thou thus upon they face?”

I met with a group that struggled with brokenness of all kinds. Meeting together we shared struggles, successes and failures. There were always failures. All of us would fight and win, fight and win, then crash. Those were the times we wanted to just give up just lay down, walk away and quit. One leader had this mantra, “It’s okay to fail. The thing is to keep getting back up.”

We all have times like that. “Will this season ever pass? Can we stop this ride? Will we see the sun at last? Or could this be our lot in life?” Mercy Me asks the question and answers it, “Hold fast.” The writer of wisdom tells us that, “a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again…”

This fear and failure seem a constant in our striving to improve. That must be why God tells his people over and over, “Do not fear; for I am with you, Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.” It’s the message He gave to Joshua after his tragic defeat at Ai. It is the word He has for us in our daily struggles and failures. “Get up! Why are you lying on your face like this?” It is no great disaster to fail. The tragedy is to not get up again.

Serendipity And Gods Care

If you chart these events statistically I believe that they would prove to be significant and not serendipitous. It is a circumstance that may be specific to my experience. In my thirty plus years of following Christ God has made Himself known in this circumstance. When I am down or doubting I ‘just happen to’ run into a fellow friend and/or believer.

I’d spent the morning ruminating on a sermon from Matt Chandler. I was talking to God about His getting the glory for stuff. I was telling God that I know I should be content in my circumstances since He has ordained them. In the midst of my reverie I heard someone call out my name.

At the counter stood a friend that I had met in a mutual ministry some years ago. We had kept in touch via mutual interest in ministries thus meeting at a common potluck or seasonal party. We talked about a friend that had just been married and was now expecting. We talked about spouses and children. The conversation moved on to talk about sickness, cancer and medical struggles. She asked for prayer for a specific medical issue and I assured her I would remember it.

It is encouraging to know that the same God that has determined ‘our appointed times and boundaries of habitation’ is concerned with my heart condition. He encourages through the fellowship of another. How amazing that the God of the universe also moves friends into my orbit.

Cancer And Hope

My sister in law has cancer. Note I did not say she is dying of cancer though that is the usual outcome. This is the tension we live in. As family most of us are followers of Christ. As Christ followers we believe in the efficacy of prayer and the healing power of God who counts the stars by number and knows each one by name. Still cancer is a strong enemy which is why we celebrate survivors. For though we know God can heal we assume that the cancer will end life. This last is what frustrates me.

I do not believe in a positive outcome because I have no experience. My dear cousin Jeff died in his twenties of Leukemia as did my uncle. I’ve lost an aunt and my mother to cancer. I had two college friends, both named Eric, that succumbed to cancer of the brain. I have been down this road before.

Everyone I’ve talked to expects near and certain death. I understand the tension and the reality. I think what frustrates me is that we don’t fight for the possibility that God will heal. I want to be sensitive to the day to day reality that is cancer and to the statistics. In some way we strain between the realities that God is able and that the statistics are negative.

I keep coming back to Matt Chandler. He is a husband and father and pastor to over 10,000 in the Dallas area. In 2010 he was diagnosed with brain cancer. He just finished a book and today has a thriving ministry. God can heal.

We need not be Pollyanna Christians wearing fake smiles and claiming everything will be all right. In the midst of the reality we mustn’t give up in our hope or our belief. God is not bound by statistics. As E.V. Hill said, “Doctors are only practicing medicine.” So we live out our faith day by day in the context of Hebrews 11; “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen,” and, “All of these died in faith, without receiving the promises, but having seen them and having welcomed them from a distance, and having confessed that they were strangers and exiles on the earth.”

Radio Addiction

My car is the ideal vehicle to encourage this addiction. It’s a borderline addiction. I don’t do it all the time but enough so that my wife and child have suffered it especially on long trips and coming up to every November. Confession is good for the soul and I’ve gone too long without admitting this. I am a talk radio junkie.

I drive a lot. I am in the car two hours a day on work days. There are always trips to Orange County or the San Fernando Valley. There are some key guys I listen to; Bill Carroll on KFI, Hugh Hewitt, and Michael Medved, and because I can’t get much else in the desert, Laura Ingraham. I listen for political news. If I’m in the car Thursday nights though I have to play along with, “What the Hell did Jesse Jackson Say?”

This remains a painful result of moving to the desert. There is little radio reception. When I lived in Ventura county I could listen to every talk radio show. I could even drive to their publicity events (I could have been a roadie!). In the desert there are horses with no name but there is little radio reception. In my car if I’m charging my cell phone A.M. radio makes a huge screeching noise. I’ve learned to compromise minor screeching for listening to the few shows I’m able to access. I need the fix clean signal or not.

For those that know me and are always wondering why I know so much trivia, like who Octomom is, talk radio is why. How do I know about Arnold Schwarzeneggers’ kid? Talk radio. How’d I get interested in blogging? Talk radio. How do I form my political opinions? In part due to talk radio.

It may be time to get a Droid or Iphone. There is a talk radio app. No more night sweats seeking George Noory. Truth is I can stop any time. As long as I can access a computer and stream it.

Oktoberfest, Friends and a Short Post

I think it was an old Lowenbrau commercial; "Old friends are kinda special, the beer we pour, must say something more somehow..."  We went out to Oktoberfest tonight with some old friends of the wife and new friends of mine.  Good friends and a glass of beer make for great evenings out.  They also however make for late night arrivals at home and early alarms on the following work day.  That being the case you'll have to excuse this short post tonight.  I'm turning down the Polka music and turning off the lights.  Catch you tomorrow.

Vice President Biden, Abortion And The Religion Of Hypocrisy

Yesterday’s post is still percolating in my brain. In relation to that I keep thinking about Vice President Biden’s comments during yesterday’s debate. Biden said, in essence, 'I accept the church's teaching that abortion is murder" but people should be able to do it.’ If he is only ascribing to a list of rules or suggestions then this makes sense. If the Pope speaks for God it seems odd that God would want Catholics to behave one way and the rest of the world a different way.

Charles Curran writing in the National Catholic Reporter says this about abortion:

The Catholic moral position has consistently and for a very long time taught that direct abortion is morally wrong. The teaching recognized a very few conflict situations in which indirect abortion could be acceptable for a proportionate reason, but these situations were very narrow and did not even include abortion to save the life of the mother.”

According to widely respected Archbishop Charles Chaput, O.F.M. Cap., of Denver:

"In the United States in 2008, abortion is an acceptable form of homicide... If you vote this way [for a candidate who supports or promotes abortion], are you cooperating in evil? And if you know you are cooperating in evil, should you go to confession? The answer is yes."

"So I think that people who claim that the abortion struggle is 'lost' as a matter of law, or that supporting an outspoken defender of legal abortion is somehow 'pro-life,' are not just wrong; they're betraying the witness of every person who continues the work of defending the unborn child. And I hope they know how to explain that, because someday they'll be required to."

For Vice President Biden to say that he accepts a position but won’t enforce it is ludicrous hypocrisy.  Vice President Biden is certainly religious in the same way as golden calf worshipers of old.  Like the Pharisees of Jesus’ day he white washes the sepulcher though inside there are bones of the dead.  This is what religion looks like when you worship the God of convenience.  

Religion Vs. Relationship To Christ

Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, so that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.---Romans 8:1 and following

It all comes down to this. When I was young I thought all religions the same. As a teen I learned that’s not so. I became a Christian. With all the baggage I still carried I thought Christianity was a bunch of rules to be followed. I think that’s why I struggled so much in my early walk. I was trying to follow a bunch of rules. When I didn’t know the rules I made them up. In some ways early on my Christianity was another religion.

Somewhere along the line I started having a relationship with Christ. I started talking to Him. The parts of the Bible I had memorized leapt out at me at opportune, and inopportune, times. In the midst of all that I came also to understand that we are to enjoy God. Enjoying a bunch of rules is tough. Enjoying relationship with a person is much easier.

Strict adherence to the rules didn’t make life easier. Having someone walk alongside me does. It helps to talk---and listen. Knowing that the person walking alongside is also in control helps. Yes Christ is king of all. Still He has shed His blood to make relationship possible.

Being real in relationship with God eases the struggle. I want to do the right thing because I don’t want a disconnect in the relationship. I can persevere because in relationship those that love us are for us. I can fail because Christ paid for my failure already. When I break the rules I talk it out. When I keep breaking the rules He calls me out. It is the freedom of relationship in Christ that sets me free.

Smart Phones, Daughters and Communication

I don’t own a Smart Phone. I own a dumb phone. It only makes phone calls, texts and has a small screen where you can barely see pictures. About once a week I think I’d like a phone that has storage capacity for more than one picture. I’d love to have Apps that are practical. I would like to Yelp restaurant information on the spot when I want it. Then I go to dinner with my daughter, who, by the way owns a Smart Phone.

My daughter’s pre-calc teacher was with eating dinner at the same fast-food place we ordered burgers at. He was there with his son. “Wow, that’s nice,” I thought. Another dad beside me actually goes out with their kid and has quality time. Curious I observed their interaction. The dad spent the entire meal looking at his phone (or I-thing). I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. He’s a busy teacher. He’s probably working and returning parent comments. “No,” my heart said. His kid may have just eaten dinner alone.

I was encouraged that there were some teens having face to face interaction at the restaurant. There was a girl eating alone and interacting with her phone. So communication isn’t dead yet but it’s certainly taking on a flesh wound.