Death and Red Tape

I can feel my blood pressure escalating, and I just cussed out the gentlemen in the Arrangements Department at the mortuary. Like many Americans, my mom had her Social Security check deposited into her checking account. She had most of her bills electronically debited from the same account. So, I spent a good portion of the afternoon today making phone calls like this:

(After 3 minute wait on hold)
“Hello, this is Charlotte, how may I help you?”
“Yes, my mom passed away on the 20th. She has a home equity account that gets pulled out of her checking account. What will happen if there is no money in that account?”
“Well, Dillo, I wish I could tell you that, but I need a death certificate to give you that information.”
“Well, generally, Charlotte (How often do you get to use General Lee and the name of a southern city in the same sentence?), what would happen?”
“We’ll debt the account, and since there’s no money in there, you will be hit with millions of dollars in fees, and the mortgage payment will still be owed.”

After getting off the phone with Charlotte, I called the Mortuary. I was told: the County of Los Angeles doesn’t even think about issuing the death certificate until ten to fifteen working days (and the gentlemen put the emphasis on working days) after the burial, which will be in another two weeks. Swell, just swell.

Update: I received the death certificates two days after writing the draft for this post. On Tuesday, I went into the Wells Fargo office by my mom’s house and had them note her death. However, the Death Verification Department was closed (okay, it’s really the Deceased Processing Department, which, I think, it was also called in the movie, Soylent Green).

I went into my local branch yesterday, and had the Banker at the branch call them. Closed again. I found myself getting angry, both with the Banker, and with the entire process.

Life is full of red tape. Seeing red and being red are not the answers.

1) I must remember to be a blessing to the folks on the other end of my situation, and not a curse. My cussing them out, spitting at them and hitting them with large, leather bound manuscripts doesn’t help them through their day at all. All the folks I have to deal with have to deal with other folks in my situation, and with more red tape. I must pray more, bless more, be less self-centered.
2) Remember those going through difficult circumstances; the death of a loved one, sickness, or even normal day atrocities like the DMV. Life is hard. Give them hope, not hell.