Wisdom For Taking The Next Step

Many a questioning, many a fear,

Many a doubt, hath its quieting here.

Moment by moment, let down from Heaven,

Time, opportunity, and guidance are given.

Fear not tomorrows, child of the King,

Trust them with Jesus, do the next thing.

My brother-in-law is in crisis. Flying in to sit with his mom in hospice. Seeking space from his impending divorce and dying dreams. Sharing with him thrusts memory back to my own divorce and the dying of my parents. The question he asks: What to do next? The short answer—do the next thing. The next right thing, though, doesn’t happen in vacuum.

Knowing the next thing to do requires a framework. In pain, with raging emotion ranging down-up-and down again, clear thinking is hard work. In the anger I felt at my wife for forcing me out of the house, for breaking trust, I could have made terrible decisions. Framework saved me. I’d cultivated a handful of deep male relationships. I had vowed to live in biblical context; to seek peace, hope and joy. Framework is crucial.

Process and planning aid in the process. Some days “doing the next thing” meant getting out of bed and going to work. I wanted to roll into a ball or spend the day brain dead with eyes on a screen. Mercifully windows of peace and sobriety would open up for hours or even for days. Those are good times to translate framework into planning. However you best do it; excel spreadsheet, pen and paper, text messages whatever works; do it!  What are the next steps necessary to get a job?  What can I do to communicate commitment to my loved ones. Do I need to (figuratively) take an axe to anything (this question is best asked in a sober, peace filled frame of mind). Taking this step may shorten the periods of despair. 

Let people speak into your life. This requires humility. Telling them to take a hike negates this step. Go back to step 1. Not everyone gets to give counsel.  Only those you trust.  Those friends and professionals you’ve given access to your soul and guts. Listen. Process. 

Gaining traction in crisis requires work, fortitude, perseverance. Doing the next right thing is not easy. We all know that soul that took short-term shots without looking at the big picture; no framework, no process, no community. The ship-wrecks, train-wrecks, the Breaking Bad. Coming through victorious requires more but starts simply: do the next thing. 

Photo by Gabriel on Unsplash

Some Tools To Battle Anxiety

Now when the attendant of the man of God had risen early and gone out, behold, an army with horses and chariots was circling the city. And his servant said to him, “Alas, my master! What shall we do?...Then Elisha prayed and said, “O Lord, I pray, open his eyes that he may see.” And the Lord opened the servant’s eyes and he saw; and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha. 

Anxiety: apprehensive uneasiness or nervousness usually over an impending or anticipated ill. 18% of Americans suffer from anxiety disorders.  One out of every 5 people you know—and everybody that I know.  We all experience anxiety.  We experience it in different degrees with different reactions.  For some, panic attacks completely debilitate.  I want to turn and run. How do we deal with it? 

The issue is doubly troubling for a Christian.  We’re told (commanded, not encouraged), “Be anxious for nothing.”  We are not to fret, fear or be anxious.  If for no other reason than the one given by John Piper---our anxiety makes God look bad (a lack of trust in His consistent goodness towards us).

Problems at work have me afraid of being fired.  Of failing.  Of not performing well in other’s eyes.  I have friends walking through similar experiences. What am I learning?  How to best walk through this?

It’s a perception problem.  Perhaps the data isn’t being interpreted correctly. Like Elisha’s servant what I perceive as reality isn’t correct. I am reminded of the words of Jim Elliott, “Remember that the shadow a thing casts often far exceeds the size of the thing itself (especially if the light be low on the horizon) and though some future fear may strut brave darkness as you approach, the thing itself will be but a speck when seen from beyond. Oh, that He would restore us often with that 'aspect from beyond,' to see a thing as He sees it, to remember that He dealeth with us as with sons.” 

I see the problem but don’t allow for a solution. Years ago, in the midst of my divorce my car died on me.  I needed a car and had little money.  Enter anxiety. The local dealership had a used Saturn with manual transmission that nobody wanted to buy.  I ended up with a vehicle in better shape than the one I’d had.

The feeling isn’t the reality.  In overwhelming circumstances, we feel a gut- wrenching urge to puke.  We feel terror.  Simon Sinek tells how Olympic athletes when interviewed are always asked, “Were you nervous?”  Categorically they respond, “No.”  They all said, “No, I’m not nervous. I’m excited.”  Because they interpret the feelings typically identified as nervousness as excitement.  

Adjusting perception, trusting God for solutions and walking through the feelings are small actions to reduce anxiety.  Like most disciplines it’s a mental battle.  One I can fight today.  As Jesus said, “…Tomorrow will care for itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.”