Louder Than The Cicadas

 I hear the voices. Jabbering louder than the Cicadas do, a thousand little men shaking baby rattles. So much messaging, so many messengers. I’m more aware of them in my life. Stories as pervasive as the cicada in summer.

I hope and wait for the caffeine to flush the sludge of melatonin out from my veins and my brain. I read a couple chapters to remind myself who God is; and try to remember who I am. My coffee mug and I move to my desktop turning on the computer. Sit down to scan today’s news feed; chaos, murder, memes, Hitler, Trump.

 Other voices unbidden whisper negative comparisons; not good enough, not productive enough, not gifted enough. Critical of self, critical of others. It’s an effort to not put others down sometimes. Put ourselves down. Hard to let joy bubble up. Be okay with the losses. They must be a normal thing; cause that’s what every singer sings.

The blanket of summer heat presses down and the Cicadas screech. In the right frame of mind they settle into the background; a symphony of white noise. A strong wind, a passing semi, jars them into a discordant chattering.

There’s a place I go where water cascades over grey sandstone, dripping and bubbling in summer, falling and crashing in spring. Ducks and water drown out the cicada to a low buzz. If I’m intentional, the waterfall speaks to me in its’ own voice, reminding me of who created the stars, and calls them all by name. The voice that knows me by name and called me from the beginning. And the one who, I’m guessing, has a name for each Cicada.

Real Beauty: Perception Vs. Reality

There are days I look in the mirror and see only the scars on my forehead (including this big gash that runs at an angle like something a character would have in a Raiders of the Lost Ark or a pirate movie). It’s not a beautiful face but fortunately I’ve not let that drive my self image. What we see or perceive in the mirror doesn’t correspond with who we really are (H/t Valerie). People see us differently and God sees us differently.

The classic story regarding outward beauty is that of Samuel’s choosing King David. David’s dad parades all his brothers before Samuel. You can imagine the brothers with puffed out chests as they try to look impressive. At this point God tells Samuel, “Do not look at this appearance or at the height of his stature (at which point all 5’6” of me whoops), because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees for man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart.”

Our culture puts emphasis on exactly the opposite of what God looks at. Yet ‘charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting.’ The challenge for us is to see ourselves through God’s eyes and the eyes of those that love us. That is the true measure of who we are.