Why We Walked Away From Pain And Gain

I haven’t walked out on a movie since “Ghost” which was released in 1990. Tonight my wife and I walked out on “Pain and Gain.” It’s a badly written movie that is hostile toward God, women and humanity. My wife and I were both surprised that any of the actors agreed to do this film especially Tony Shaloub and Ed Harris. If it were me I’d rather sell fries than rob patrons of their money.


I am guessing that other’s in the theatre had their integrity and intelligence assaulted by this film. The turning on and checking cell phones was my first clue. Unfortunately nobody else walked. There is a place for that but most would rather suffer than break with the norm and leave the theatre mid-showing.

The fact that the theatre was mostly empty still gives me hope for my fellow man. Usually I check the reviews before going. I’ll make certain to do that next time unless I’m well acquainted with the material (i.e. Star Trek). We suffered the pain they got the financial gain.

The Game Has Changed Me

“Outlast, outwit and outplay.”

The contestants on Survivor will often be heard to say, “The game has changed me. I will approach life more confidently now.” That’s the upside to any challenge whether we choose it or it’s given us to walk through. The pastor said last night that God wants perseverance not quick fixes and easy wins. It seems that in some way we should exult in both---especially as men.

If we are honest as men we will admit that we desire the battle. We are not satisfied in flesh or soul with status quo (though if status quo is the battle we will say we want rest and the quick fix). The bible is full of exhortations to delight in trials because of what they produce in us and because God has ordained them for His purpose. That is the deepest truth. As men we crave the test and long to be stretched.

The athletic men I know enroll in sporting events that stretch them; marathons, triathlons, Century bike rides and hiking expeditions all fulfill us as men. These are the battles we choose to stretch us within normal and safe limits. These feel controlled yet still outside our comfort zone. These are the games we choose to suffer in.

We don’t choose many battles that come to us in the scheme of normal life. We wrestle with issues as work, we struggle with our own infirmity. Even the smaller battles like finances and being a covering for our wife are struggles that stretch us. Greater ones will come down the pike as well, sickness, job loss and the death of those dearest us. These are difficult but ordained fights that God has us walk through to grow in confidence, dependence and fruitfulness.

The game will always change us whether we choose it or are placed down into it. The mental piece is to exult and find joy in the midst. As men there is a level in which just being in the battle should assure that life is worth living and living hard.

When Plans And Monkey Wrenches Collide

I once met (on a road trip with a good friend) someone that had a daily to do list of 50 to 100 items. This is not the pathway to going with the flow. As you know by now life doesn’t just take a bow and wait for you to proceed with your plans. It throws monkey wrenches into the whole mix. Some days the plans and the wrenches comes together positively.


I took a long bike ride today. I had no idea that the winds were supposed to be gusting up to thirty miles per hour. This was foolish of me since I did know that the temperature was going to cool by ten degrees and that never happens here unless accompanied by wind. Of course life never happens here unless accompanied by wind. I had no time frame to return home by so the wind and the hills bothered me less. I also had two chance encounters; one with a fellow rider that pulled alongside to chat, the other with a family that asked where I was headed. The dad of the family shared a bit about cycling in his youth and some stupid things he did. It was an enjoyable little meeting that wouldn’t have taken place if the hills—and the wind---hadn’t slowed me way down.

We have a girl in high school. This means extracurricular activities. Once in a while those activities conflict with my plans. Tonight we pulled into the church parking lot as her bus was returning to town after a swim meet. The wife dropped me at church then picked up the daughter. Perhaps it was the expectation that I’d miss church but it was quite enjoyable being there.

There is a benefit of keeping a short list of things that have to be accomplished each day. I’m getting better at committing to the important and allowing margin for the disruptions. Sometimes the conversion of the two is a good thing.

Coffee Is The Morning Lubricant

Eating my evening bowl of cereal I wonder why ritual is so calming.  Every morning the first thing I do is turn on the coffeemaker. Some vehemently insist I set the timer—but I don’t. The measuring out of the coffee, the adding of water and the final press of the button are part of a ritual that transitions me from sleep to workday. Coffee bars have built a business on tying ritual to stimulant.

Every coffee joint has ‘regulars’ that purchase the same drink the same days of the week. It’s only partially about the caffeine. I have roughly the same conversation with the ‘regulars’ everyday; “Investors are coming by this morning. Give me an extra Lemon-poppy. Did it get this hot last April?” I work the morning shift. The customers come in to transition from their home to their workday. Coffee is the lubricant between the two.

There is that electrical charge that comes from the first sip of the latte. It’s heightened because the work day adrenaline is beginning to flow. Night is slipping away, dopamine is almost fully flushed from bloodstream and cells are flowing faster. Fully transitioned the last bit of coffee is inhaled as the elevator stops on the office floor.
Photo courtesy of Waferboards photostream on Flickr. 

Pinterest Exists To Make People Salivate

In my twenties some friends told me to drive through a certain seedy part of San Francisco much like you would recommend one take a trip to the circus. Their word of warning was not to leave the car and not to walk on the sidewalk because, “They will forcibly pull you into their establishments.” Contentment is that field trip turned on its head.

Culture is like the seedy establishments in that San Francisco neighborhood. Magazines in the grocery store scream out, “Buy me. You need me. An experience to remember!” Then the answer seems simple: Don’t walk by the magazine stands. What about those social media sights? I have friends on Facebook that fly places I can never afford and stay at hotels I’ll never see in the flesh. Pinterest exists to make people salivate. The object is to make Boards full of the house you wish you had, the hair you wish you had, the mate you wish you had---and the wardrobe you wish the mate you wish you had- had. Ah, you say, but those are worldly web sites and I’m aware of the danger. What of the more sinister dangers?

We live in a small rental in a less than perfect neighborhood. It meets our budget. It meets our needs. We feel God has provided this house specifically for us for this season. Still we hear voices say to us, “You need a bigger house. You need a place you can feel safe. Wouldn’t an updated kitchen be wonderful?” The words come from well meaning folks in our larger circle of friends. It’s that constant nudge toward more. It’s that push toward want and away from need.

Maintaining an attitude of contentment requires vigilance. It must be cultivated along with a heart attitude that is thankful for what one has not bitter about what one doesn’t have. So enjoy Pinterest but recognize that the things on those boards come with a price. That price may be sour grapes and a spirit of envy.

The Breeze That Cools Our Day

My customer, Bob, had spent this Sunday morning talking to his 90 year old mother who resides in Florida. After getting his morning cup-a-Joe he was going home to call a friend that he’s had since they were five years old. He told me, “We are the last two remaining of our circle of ten.” Bob is somewhere between sixty-five and seventy years old. That’s the bittersweet thing. His mother and him have made it farther than some. There is richness in celebrating that.


As I write a breeze cools the night air and lifts up a plastic tablecloth covering one of the many round kitchen-tables at Cindy’s never ending Vintage Yard Sale. The table sits amongst the purple and yellow flowers comprising her garden. Life is full of matchless moments that are life affirming. Like that cool breeze after today's first double-digit temperatures they restore our perspective.

Friends and family are like those cool breezes. It is a gift to make those connections. These bonds buoy us up when we are down. They provide opportunity for reflection and to share the heights, depths and doldrum days that life gives us. What a blessing to celebrate those unions that comprise our lives. While Cindy’s Vintage yard sale may last forever, Bob’s comment was a reminder to delight in the blessings given us today.

Yellowstone And Change

“Ever since he had been military governor of Texas shortly after the Civil War, Sheridan had advocated the slaughter of the bison herds across the West as a way to starve the region’s American Indian tribes into submission.  He often expressed praise for the buffalo hunters, who killed an estimated 31 million bison between 1868 and 1881.”---Rocky Barker, Scorched Earth: How The Fires Of Yellowstone Changed America.

I am a man of strong opinion as was Phil Sheridan. I have my views on most things and believe I’m right on all of them. I am proud to be an American. Though not a radical conservationist I believe we should take care of our environment. I am in favor of a strong federal government but believe most issues should be a matter for each state. It is good for me to read history and wrestle with these concepts.

Yellowstone is a favorite national park. The family and I have visited it twice in the last ten years. I am glad that it is pristine; I am glad that there are huge packs of bison roaming freely in the park as well as elk, bear and other wildlife. Yet I believe that hunting is important for food and to maintain the ecosystem.

The American views of Native Americans, hunting and national parks have changed in the last 150 years. As an individual I must be willing to change as well as I wrestle with concepts---even allowing that not all things are always black and white but being principled in all places is what matters.

Thoughts Of A 52 Year Old On The Way To Becoming Alive

Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat. ---Theodore Roosevelt

Knowing what makes you come alive isn’t a one stop process like buying a burger. It’s a series of stops, starts and turns with some dead-ends tossed in. Speaking of tossing it may even resemble a salad more than a burger; a combination of different items that fit together as one. The search will be incredibly rewarding. The search will be demoralizing as well because fully coming alive isn’t an earthly possibility.

I’m fifty two years old and still searching. Wonderfully I know much more now about what makes me come alive. Part of me feels I should have it down pat by now. Yet the list of artists and inventors that had ‘epic fails’ before massive success includes: Henry Ford, Soichiro Honda, Harland David Sanders, Winston Churchill, Oprah Winfrey and many others. There is significant comfort to be had in that. There is great delight in the pursuit and perseverance of a life alive.

One pictures Jacob wrestling with God until he was blessed. The narrative states that Jacob’s thigh was dislocated by God. Perhaps our search for coming alive through our gifts, talents and convictions requires a wrestling with who God is knowing that we may be bruised (or worse) in the process. At the end Jacob was blessed and so we shall be as well.

Working On Giving Thanks And Not Grumbling

It’s easy to grumble. In one of his letters the apostle Paul says to do everything without grumbling. God’s really been working the opposite direction with me---to be thankful and content. He’s even doing it through comments on previous posts! Not that I have it down at all. I haven’t arrived. I’m just trying to move that direction.

This summer the wife and I are planning a short trip to Guatemala to visit some missionaries. I’m guessing that will open our eyes and broaden our perspective. That’s what we’re hoping.

On a side note: Have you ever noticed how much sleep, diet and exercise fit into having a healthy attitude? I notice that on days where I didn’t sleep well I am much more apt to be distracted, unfocused and unthankful.

You have a front row seat. Feel free to kick me as needed. I’ll try not to complain if you do.

Coming Home Part 2

Whether you go out on the town for the day or are gone for a week to a distant country; there is nothing like coming home. The house may be small with imperfections or mansion like with all the fixtures. Still there is something about the bathroom where you can find everything, where you know the quirks of the faucet handle and where the hand-towel is. There is a comfort in plopping down on your own couch then finally getting up and climbing into your own bed beneath crisp sheets and atop a pillow that’s accustomed to your head. You can let your hair down in your own home more than anyplace else in the universe.


Home is a safe place; or should be. We’ve encountered houses that weren’t homes. We’ve come home to a place that wasn’t safe where relaxation wasn’t possible because one had to keep our guard up just that little bit. This was coming to a place where you lived but really it wasn’t coming home. Your stuff was there but your nemesis was there too, in whatever form it came, work, drink, money problems, addiction or maligning spouse. It was a place that you lived and so you called it home.

It’s never the perfectly safe place or the fulfillment of all creature comforts. We want the escape from pressure and the complete retreat from the world. The children of God will one day experience this. We are promised a place imperishable and undefiled that will not fade away. Perfect rest will be met there and perfect comfort and fulfillment will be ours to experience. For now though the coming home is sweet, the couch perfect and the bed---oh, the bed at the end of the day!