Microsoft Terrors

If Microsoft Word were a physical object I would have already tossed it across the room. I am in the process of updating a document which I did not originally create. The problem is that I am not Word savvy. Sure I can navigate around other more difficult programs but I don’t know how to use Word; same is true for Excel. Like a three year old I can color inside a coloring book but if I have to go outside the lines it’s an aggravating chore.


I blame it on my learning style. I am a tactile learner. I need somebody or something (a learning video or simulation) to show me the steps necessary to solve the problem. Fortunately my wife has some experience with word and so is able to show me the correct menu to access.

I am able to figure out InDesign, Facebook and Pinterest but programs that we all use often have me stymied. Perhaps my frustration hearkens back to my math anxiety. In elementary school and junior high math (literally) brought me to tears. Meanwhile in a galaxy far away my daughter is taking pre-calc this year and physics next.

Woody Allen once wrote a story in which he was being chased by the verb ‘tener.’ I hope any terrors in tonight’s sleep do not have Bill Gates laughing an evil laugh in dark caves of silicon.