Memory, Retrieval And Story

“We don’t have memory problems, we have retrieval problems,” says a friend. There is something about having a child that prods memory. This week my daughter anguished over her pre-calc at a level that was painful for a father to watch. I flashed back to my childhood. I hated math. I had significant math anxiety. I remember crying because it made no sense to me yet I still had to produce.

Tonight the kid was working on Spanish homework via a computer program. As I let my mind wander (as I accessed the file marked ‘Spanish’) I remembered a song I enjoyed when I was in Taxco, Mexico. Thinking of the song brought back other memories of my trips to Mexico.

Memory is an interesting animal. One day late in my fathers’ struggle with Alzheimer’s he was recounting to me the loves he had over his life. He started fine but soon into the story I realized that he was combining elements of his early life with the current. As an example he told of a high school sweetheart of his and how their love didn’t last because he lost her on 9/11. The memories were there, just the ends threaded together without the middle.

I am hopeful that despite loss of RAM I am still able to retrieve memories and data as I age. Part of me suspects that my stories will be lost both to time and to access. That is one reason I blog. To set down the stories. The ‘cloud’ will remember long past my capability to do so.

Vietnam, the Cold War and Raising My Daughter

I work with a Vietnam veteran. Though the war was thirty-five years ago he still talks about it and hints about his experience there. The war in Vietnam is for me ancient history. Except for my co-worker I’ve no memory of it. My images of it are more from movies and John McCain then from the reality of it. When that war ended I was the same age that my daughter is now. Still I feel no connection to it.

My daughters’ generation understands little of history. This is a scary precedent. This generation has no larger framework to work through. If the Vietnam war seems irrelevant to me then what about WWII and the Cold War.

I stood in the freezer at work talking with a co-worker. Our parents and grandparents escaped Nazi Germany to come to America. Those roots and the lessons passed on to us from our parents colour our world view. What am I passing along to my daughter? A world view that promotes affluence and living without sacrifice? That was not our parents world but that became the experience for my generation.

I write in remiss. In a couple years I will have few opportunities to teach my daughter. I sense failure in providing scaffolding for this framework. It is in the context of history that we see the danger of world views such as Socialism and Marxism. In that same milieu freedom of religion and freedom from taxes and tyranny are evident.

Prior to dinner in our house we learn about a country and pray for it. Many of these countries are mired in government philosophies different than ours. The people are slaves to false religions and hollow philosophies. I sense I should explore these thoughts with my progeny while there is time. And I will spend some personal time learning recent history. If we understand our past we will know what we are up against in our future.

The Long View Of Life

Those with short-sighted perspective miss the depth and adventure of life truly lived. I listen to a lot of talk radio while driving. The talk was about raising your children. As I listened I thought to myself that the remedy to key struggles was recognizing that death is coming. A symbolic death and a real death. At eighteen my daughter will be on her own. At some point, hopefully later than that, I will no longer be around. That perspective helps to raise my daughter to grow into an adult that will have to make decisions about her own life. Contrast that to raising her as if I will be here tomorrow. The short-sighted perspective or the long view.

The perspective we face life with will color all our decisions. Knowing that death looms you will take those vacations with your family. Knowing that death looms you will give all you have to give at work. Going deep in relationships is urgent. Leaving a legacy is important with death on the horizon. Thinking you are Methuselah gives you excuse to put off things til tomorrow.

The lens we use to view the world matters in both micro and macro management. Netanyahu is forced to make decisions regarding his neighbors when they threaten the longevity of the nation. Thinking that time is on your side (a la Methuselah) you can tarry in your decision. Knowing that come summer you will be forcefully blasted to smithereens incites action.

Death on the doorstep means your Judge waits at the door. As Bilbo and Frodo both learned an unexpected journey makes for quick and serious preparation. Thinking Mount Doom is forever far away opens you up to plunder.

The short-sighted man risks a useless and wasted life. Life with a long view results in action and life that “yields its fruit in its season.”

“For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 For he who lacks these qualities is blind or short-sighted, having forgotten his purification from his former sins. 10 Therefore, brethren, be all the more diligent to make certain about His calling and choosing you…”---2 Peter Chapter 1