Friday, June 29, 2007

The Ring

One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie.

Why do I still have my wedding ring on? A couple of folks have asked me this question. Makes sense-it's a logical question. No easy, cold, logical answer though. At times, I feel it is an incredible burden; heavy and pulling me down. I would be best off throwing it deep into the Crack of Doom at Mordor’s edge. Or at least stashing it in the treasure box that sits on my armoire.

Other times I think I should keep it on until the ink is dry on the final divorce document. It’s the visible sign of the covenant. It’s symbolic of a man who walks with God, “He swears to his own hurt and does not change."

At the very least, I can tell you this. It keeps me honest. I’m still legally married. Spiritually, I’m not so sure. I’ll save that for another post. In the meantime, it’ll probably stay on until the ink is dry. Or until Gollum steals it away.
Drawing Copyright 1979 Running Press. Drawing by Michael Greene.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Stressed? Do The Math.

Stress. Occasionally there’s talk of ‘good stress,’ but mostly, when people talk about stress they talk about some thing that has the potential to kill you. Stress and my reaction to it can doubly kill me. For example, as I’m typing this I’m eating a 21.30 Oz. bag of m&m’s®-and telling myself NOT to finish it off in this one sitting…..According to David Fontana, “A useful that stress is a demand made upon the adaptive capacities of the mind and body. If these capacities can handle the demand and enjoy the stimulation involved, then stress is welcome and helpful. If they can't and find the demand debilitating, then stress is unwelcome and unhelpful.”

Anecdotal evidence suggests that roughly 100% of the readership of this blog are dealing with significant stress factors in their lives. So I’m putting this out there as a public service. So go ahead and TAKE THE TEST. Note that it’s only a general guideline. And it seems like some of the categories are (to quote Professor Sam Moss) inextricably intermeshed. For example, I’m separated from my wife: Do I also count points for sex difficulties, change in arguments (they’re not happening now) and social activities change?

My score was a whopping 289 points! (plus or minus up to 321) What I included:
Divorce, change in family health, change in financial state, responsibility at work, living conditions change, recreation change, social activities change, car loan, home alone, and law violations (the whole incident with Paris Hilton has really had me on edge this last week).

Take the test. Add up your score. And then decide if you are a potential walking time-bomb. If so---make sure you are finding adequate ways to decompress.