In my most difficult seasons I draw closest to God. It is paradoxical; God is made most sweet in times that are most bitter. I can appreciate that God has the universe wired this way. Still part of me would much rather skip these seasons of testing and settle for God-lite. Unfortunately God-lite doesn’t improve character or slam one up against one’s own pride. There’s no need for a great big God when I’ve got little ole me running the show so-very-smoothly!
It is easy to lose perspective. Feels like it’s always been this way. There’s no way out. I’ll be sucked down into the vortex; ever spinning, more and more out of control until it all collapses. The bills are overwhelming and getting a handle seems impossible. The rental-property is an ever depressing source of bad news; termites, tenant-problems, increased premiums, asbestos in the attic. To easy for it to color everything if I let it.
Viewed from a different angle it’s been a great month. The wife and I had a number of weekends filled with visiting friends and family. The daughter and I got away to the beach Saturday where a close friend and pro-photographer shot her Senior pics. I could write line-on-line of the blessings experienced even this last week. That being said I suspect I’m wired like everyone else and the stressors overwhelm and shade all the rest of life.
I’m forced face up against fear and overwhelmed by events out of my control. For help, for comfort, for Rock and Shield I spend more time in prayer. Because God speaks through His word I find in myself an increased hunger for reading the Bible. On top of these I pile on Spurgeon and Piper. Perspective is gained, right focus restored—though not without struggle. In this oven of trial the sweet taste of God comes forth. He is made sweeter in seasons most bitter.