Sloth and frantic busyness are two sides of a pendulum. I slept in today. There’s always a niggling voice when I sleep in saying; “You are wasting the day away!” The voice doesn’t realize that being busy isn’t necessarily a sign of accomplishing anything either. It feels like stuff has been accomplished though so we feel better.
The mountains are still snow-capped. It is seventy plus degrees outside with a cooling wind. Today’s bicycle ride was wonderful; I don’t know if it was the sleep or the change in weather but I felt exhilarated. I pedaled and thought about beauty.
I queued Queen on Spotify---don’t ask me why. Listening to ‘You Take My Breath Away,’ I remembered why. I enjoy their music. Though not the gospel music I usually listen to; there’s a beauty that overarches the earthiness of most of Mercury.
There are blocks of time; days and weeks of gray where I live in-between busy and sloth where I just go to work; come home to my wife, touch base with my kid—then do it all over again. God still exists during these times; I barely live like He does. It’s a slow-motion-blur.
When I’m in the mountains or at the beach I think, “It would be great to live here.” I would miss the beauty living those places as much as I skip over and miss the beauty living life where I’m at. This noticing beauty; this breathing out thanksgiving, is (like so much of life) a discipline. A battle to behold beauty in the everyday.
So I remind myself again (How many times, Lord?) to live fully when the pendulum is swinging hard to busy or bending slow to sloth. And in the in-between times I trust grace and lean on beauty trusting she’ll pull me out of the gray.