I woke up from the dream in a sweat, With the knowledge of evil and good I looked at my own silhouette - it looked back with a bad attitude You reached out to touch me You reached out to touch me - I said it's too true: You and me we know too much---Mark Heard, “We Know Too Much.”
Some saints suffer greatly. I read their stories. For inspiration; for encouragement. “The most inspiring testimonies are of those who have suffered deeply and found God to be faithful even in the pain,” says Laura Story who has herself suffered deeply. Deep faith comes through difficult times. This knowing is knowing too much.
I think too much. In my naivete; when I was even more naive than I am today, I thought God would simply answer prayer and change circumstances. God would repair the relationship though it was me that was broken. God would heal here instead of completely healing there. God would give me a better job instead of chiseling me to fit the present one.
Hardly holy. Not character building nor caring. Still at some level I thought it so. Wished it so. Lately I flip it all around the other way. I muddle truth thinking God didn’t solve other’s problems (for character of course) and He won’t solve mine.
My story is different. My story isn’t the same as their story. God works heart to heart; person to person, individual to individual. God is about relationship. God is eternally fellowship, forever three-in-one. This I do know: God will work for fellowship with Him and goodness for me. God may change my circumstances. God may lead me into deep waters.
This knowing is knowing enough. Knowing God knows my frame. Knowing that my story (and yours as well) will be uniquely written. Knowing I am loved for me. “But now, thus says the Lord, your Creator, O Jacob, and He who formed you…When you pass through the waters I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you, when you walk through the fire you will not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you.” This knowing is knowing enough; that I am eternally known.