Boots

You have to understand how very much I hate work parties. They make me exceedingly uncomfortable and I feel like I’m stepping way out of my comfort zone. So when this girl at work told me she was getting a whole new outfit for the Christmas party…..I hadn’t even given any thought to what to wear. But because I wanted to be as comfortable in the uncomfortable situation as possible, I started thinking about my outfit.

Dress clothes I have plenty of. Nice pants, different style sweaters (most of which pass the Hailey-“You look like a dork”-test), a couple nice shirts. But my shoes; gads, I have no comfortable dress shoes. So I went down to the local stores to look at black dress shoes. The ones that I really liked (that passed the DORK test) were 75 bucks. Great. So, now, I have to buy a 75 dollar pair of shoes for this party that I’m not even thrilled about attending.

Here it is the day of the party. I haven’t gone out to get my shoes yet. I haven’t had much time to make it to the store. Additionally, the thought of spending $75.00 right now when I don’t have it makes me queasy.

I’ll just wear my boots. I slide one foot into a boot. Other foot into a boot. Immediately, I feel centered. Grounded, as if I’d lost my balance and now it’s back again. Why, I think, was I going to buy shoes that I don’t like to impress people I don’t know with money I don’t have?

Amazing thing-correct perspective regained. Putting on the boots secured me again in being comfortable in my own skin. These particular boots I’ve had for about 25 years. They’re old friends. They’re comfortable, familiar, well-worn yet in great shape. It’s the whole boot mystique. Putting em on and I feel ready for action. Ready to burst through those two swinging doors into the saloon. Ready to fight, yet comfortable leaning against a fencepost. And walk…..maybe with a slight swagger.

In hind sight, there are those times when I resort to my false self and lie to myself, or convince myself that I must act in a certain way, dress a certain way; be a certain way to impress others. It’s all about being comfortable in your own skin (or that of a skinned animal). “Let people feel the weight of who you are and let them deal with it.”