Monday, January 27, 2014

A Barista's Battle With Attitude

Somebody should hit me with a roaming charge because I’ve been all over the map this last week. A week ago the wife and I had a nice three-day weekend. Should be recharged but I’ve been scatterbrained and lacking energy. One second I’m excited about God and life’s possibilities and minutes later I want to go home and crawl into bed with a good book--- for a long time; like a month or two. Oh the joys of being in skin!

It’s more serious than that. It’s a battle with the will to just think right. I find I’m not worshipping God. I don’t give a rip about other people. (Although I have to pretend I do. It’s my job). I get stuck thinking about me or stuff that has to do with me. Two days ago the wife and I had a disagreement. Most of my energy was spent in worry along with a quick prayer to be wise and loving (mostly for me, less for God).

It’s easy for me to just set everything on cruise control during these periods. I used to do just that. Now I try to fight to keep my brain properly engaged. It’s a battle though. I find I swing from right focus to hazy daydreaming in the blink of an eye.

Times like this I find anchors are important; rituals and habits help maintain equilibrium. Tomorrow I’ll stop on the way home and meet with God at the local preserve. I’ll walk and talk and God will listen. Maybe He’ll interject a thought or two. Tuesday night is Bible study with the men’s group. That’ll help too. Perhaps it’s just a matter of recalibrating.

At work we use a thermometer to indicate when the milk is steamed hot enough to make a latte or other hot drink. Once a week the thermometer is placed in a cup full of ice water to make certain it reads at 32 degrees Fahrenheit. Though rare I’ve seen it off by as much as ten degrees thus making a hot latte only tepid in reality. I feel like I’m running ten degrees off—tepid not hot. I’m hoping recalibration will help.

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