Friday, September 09, 2016

Zombies and the Prescription Panic of 2016

70 percent of Americans rely on prescription drugs.  That’s a lot of zombies.  Horror movies are just real-life situations turned upside down; right?  Okay maybe it’s not every day that you are trapped in a room with no-way out except for a saw.  But the bad-girl is always the first eaten by wolves.  So what if they closed down your neighborhood pharmacies?  What if you couldn’t get your prescription anywhere; not even Los Algodones?

You run out of Thyroid meds.  Without thyroid supplements you become cranky; irritable, slow and lethargic.  Over time you could drop dead or slip into a coma.  Not a problem though because it’s a quick, cheap, easy refill at your neighborhood Rite-Aid.  Until you get there and it’s closed.  And so is every other pharmacy in the city.  Now you’re angry, anxious, cranky and irritable.  And so are 75 million other Americans that rely on Thyroid supplements.

In 2010, diabetes was the 7th leading cause of death in the United States with 69,071 death certificates listing it as the underlying cause of death. In 2010 getting your insulin was a piece of cake.  In the prescription panic of 2016 you have to rely on your wits; your money and your connections. Imagine the shut-downs beginning.  Think of black markets; crime synonymous with legal drugs.  Now you can’t rely on your insulin to save you.  That’s a lot of metabolic shut-downs.  That’s a lot of fear raging rampant.

There is one bite of good news that comes out of all of this.  It could save you from being dead—or being brunch for the undead.  If the plot of a money-making zombie film is correct: zombies like healthy flesh.  The slothful thyroid or the partially-paralyzed pancreas may kill you---but the zombies won’t.

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