Tuesday, March 26, 2013

They've Ruined My Cap'n Crunch

You want to ask the Captain but he’s inanimate. You wonder about it; you ask friends, your wife agrees with you but you can’t put your finger on it. Cap’n Crunch is different than we were kids, isn’t it? It’s not nearly as sweet nor does it cut the roof of your mouth into shreds like it used to. It goes beyond that though, doesn’t it? Aren’t Frosted Flakes not quite as “Grrreat” as they used to be? There’s a world of food stuff that’s changed for the worse? How can we raise our children in such a world?

I looked forward to road trips in part because I knew that I’d be getting Apple Turnovers from McDonalds. That was before they changed the oil they used or the frying or the sugars. The Turnovers are now run-of-the-mill and there is no reason to drool over them. Is it my imagination or did Taco Bell burritos go through a similar mid-life change?

It truly is a gutting of all things American especially that which is most American, Coca-Cola. A recent trip to Walmart proved that I’m not alone in this regard. There on the main aisle was a shelf stacked with Coca-Cola hecho en Mexico. Y Por que? It has to be more than the corn syrup. What’s changed?

I know you can fill in your own food that’s been castrated by some health mongering group telling us how to eat. Political correctness has taken the teeth out of my evening munchies. Truly these changes to recipe and baking style have ruined great snacks so that our children have no opportunity to experience the great highs and lows which massive sugar produces. Their teeth may last a tad longer but they will never know the fullness of feeling that sweet Cap’n Crunch makes while it minces the mouth.

No comments: