Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Ready For The Afterlife

It is the worst of all connections. I refer to the internal wiring that connects a current experience to an experience in the past that causes rage. Specifically my work environment is less than positive taking place in an environment that is not supportive with a boss that is ego-centered and accusatory. Yesterday I found myself viscerally reacting to his criticism in a way that made no immediate sense. It only made sense if what I was reacting to was something else such as a past event.

While it does some good to ruminate on possible childhood connections this satisfies only part of the picture. The reality is still that I have to deal with my emotions and my thinking in the present. I’m doing a lot of praying; asking for forgiveness and asking for wisdom. The positive is that it’s keeping me crying out.

Through these difficult circumstances and annoying little trials I find ultimately it helps to seek ministry to others and not focus so much on self. Beyond that it helps if I continuously sing songs to God especially songs focusing on Heaven my home. These things all seem to help through these days of trial. When my life is on cruise control it’s easy to get attached down here. When I’m struggling with multi-faceted trials I can sing, “I’m ready for the afterlife.”

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