Friday, April 12, 2013

Night Of The Carnival

The carnival is in town so it’s no surprise that the cops have a set up a checkpoint through town. It’s one of those nights where the moon hides in its own shadow and the wind carries something dark. People walk to and fro from the carnival. It’s teens mostly and they seem to wander listlessly as though possessed. Though there are some teenage boys dancing on mountain bikes who seem to know exactly what they want and it is neither good nor reassuring.

On cue my living room lights up neon blue. A police car has pulled over a red vehicle in front of my driveway. The night seems darker than usual yet the lights also seem overly bright so that you can’t see into the shadows. I will check all the locks before I go to bed. Usually the dark and the quiet bring peace but tonight one can sense the shadows---and the quiet is eerily too, too quiet.

One is afraid to go to sleep on such nights. Crawling into bed is the most wonderful of things, greeted by cool crisp sheets and firm mattress the tension slips quickly from ones’ body. Tonight I am afraid of what the dreams will be; the cement pathway and the locker that I can never find though I follow the handrail on and on and on….The falling from on high only to arrive later than I should have; I’ve failed the test but still have to take it over and over…The sense of helpless anxiety creeping in. No! I will not dream those dreams.

Perhaps it is only that the house is quiet; wife gone, daughter with her mom, only work on the horizon. The sun too will rise from that horizon coloring the clouds and chasing away the dark. To sleep then! Morning can not but come to quickly.

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